the rules of Jinx are unflinchingly rigid.

feb 14 - fanmix.

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 17:54:20 GMT

(The Maybe Not So) Fancy New Beesley
A season three Pam Beesley fanmix.

01. The Church of What's Happening Now - Sia
Welcome to/The church of what's happening now/Head straight through/It costs nothing but change
Throw away yesterday/Today is a brand new day/Throw away yesterday/Today is a brand new day

02. It's Cold - Smoosh
When we go
I’m just afraid/That I’m never ever gonna make it/To the end
Where I'm supposed to be/But, I am trying so hard to go/And I, I don't know how

03. Shame - PJ Harvey
You changed my life/We were as green as grass/And I was hypnotized/From the first 'til the last/Kiss of shame, shame, shame/Shame is the shadow of love

04. The Greatest - Cat Power
Once I wanted to be the greatest/No wind or waterfall could stall me/And then came the rush of the flood/Stars of night turned deep to dust

05. The Bolder Thing To Do - Gregory and the Hawk
energy spent trying to believe you're not worth it/you don't deserve it/but I wish you did 'cause I can't live without this/and I'll remember you as the second or two/artists I knew who decided to screw me over/'cause it's the bolder thing to do

06. Today's the Day - Aimee Mann
And baby isn't this your chance/To make a break with circumstance/And isn't it enough to prove today's the day?/Isn't it enough to prove today's the day?

07. All My Friends - Broken Social Scene
All my friends in magazines/Got addicted to the word ‘leave’ /And all the songs that you believe /Once they stop you can’t repeat /Once you stop you can’t repeat

08. Edge of Love - Mindy Smith
The edge of love like a knife/shimmer shines when it hits the light/Just like that it'll change your life/And it makes time stand/It makes time stand still

09. Lonliest Girl in the World - Cary Brothers
You are the loneliest girl in the world/Taking your hits as they come/You are the loneliest girl in the world/And tonight you’d fall for anyone

10. Extraordinary - Mandy Moore
I was a daydream/Quiet and unseen/I lived in stories but inside I kept a mystery/I was a starling/Nobody's darling/Flying in perfect circles just for company/And now I'm ready, and now I'm ready/And now I'm ready to be extraordinary

zip @ megaupload

Basically it's season three up through Phyliss' Wedding (and what happens there.) There is a good deal of Jim in there... to the point where I probably could have made it a Jam mix, but mostly the idea is Pam becoming "Fancy New Beesley" which I don't think has happened yet, but she's making progress.

draft

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 01:23:05 GMT

“One of you wrecked the paintings at the student art show,” Parker, a petite brunette girl, states matter-of-factly standing in the doorway to a classroom, “And I know who it was and I plan on making you pay.” While she wasn’t physically imposing by any stretch of the imagination, hardly five foot three and skinnier than most, there was something ominous and a little disconcerting about her words that made everyone in the room sit up straighter.

“Was it Stephen,” she smiles sweetly at the attractive jock sitting across the room on a desk, “the sophomoric star athlete who lives by the creed that no prank should be harmless? Or was it Mary-Jane,” she gestures theatrically to the raven haired girl slouching against the chalkboard, “the artist whose disturbingly macabre depiction of high-schoolers as vampires and demons was excluded from the show, exacting retribution? Maybe it was Harry, the social pariah, finally making good on his anti-establishment threats?” She feigns an expression of shock and outrage before traipsing over to the last student in the room, an unassuming boy with blonde hair, “Or how about the one person who doesn’t appear to have any kind of motive at all, James? Good grades, a few pieces of work in the show, no criminal history to speak of, hardly the type to err, let alone intentionally and purposefully destroy an entire year’s worth of art. ”

“Alright Nancy Drew, enough dramatics, we’re all yours,” Harry mutters darkly, staring up at the diminutive brunette, “Whodunit?”

She smiles slightly and surveys the suspects before answering, “Without the what, and the when, and the where, and the why? What kind of fun would that be?”

feb 6 - stephen colbert doesn't like fall out boy

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 22:36:50 GMT

I've never been one of the Daily Show/Colbert Report fans who has had an incredibly strong preference either way. I watch them like one show, and while I think Colbert has a better batting-average episode to episode, when the Daily Show is on, it's on so it makes nightly comparisons difficult. But when my parents decided that I had finally earned the right to be brought along on one of their many excursions to the city because they had gotten The Colbert Report tickets, I was excited. No more or less excited then I would be had they gotten tickets to the Daily Show. (That's not entirely true, Daily Show tickets are harder to get.) But my preference, or lack there of, changed yesterday.

Not because Stephen Colbert is incredibly entertaining in person, as well as being almost disturbingly polite, and personable. Not because the show was hysterical. Not because I was on camera a total of three times. Not because he did the King of Glory dance. No, I was swayed for one reason; It was cold and the Colbert Report's studio at least makes an attempt to shield its audience from the elements. The line had a tent-like “shield” which almost blocked out the wind and cold, which compared to the tent-less line for the Daily Show was enough to sway me, if only temporarily and not particularly resolutely, onto Team Colbert.

After two hours of standing in cold, only interrupted by brief but satisfying walks to the local Dunkin Doughnuts where I drank crappy hot chocolate, watched Reba on the CW, wondering if the guy in the eagle-costume was warmer than myself and pondering what exactly the nature of the show in the theater next to the studio is, (is it a strip show? burlesque? something less exciting? if that is the case why advertise it as something naughty? “a dirty little show” implies something scandalous, and of course, why neon pink paper? It’s hard to read.) we were let in. They let us in earlier than normal because they finally took pity on us after they sent some interns out to patrol the line, and they could barely stand the cold. We were let into what is the equivalent of a waiting room; Cramped, crowded, tidy but not clean, and painted an overwhelming shade of neutral. The only difference is I don’t think many doctor’s offices have a metal detector or a big flag that says “The United Colors of Stephen” with a shitty graphic made up of Colbert Screencaps and random pictures of seemingly nonsensical things. That, and the television was playing Comedy Central not Telenova.

Once inside my questions changed from, “Is eagle-costume guy warm?” to “Are they going to let eagle-costume guy in?” and “Boy, she looks like a conservative nutcase, I wonder if she is?” to “That woman is most certainly a conservative nutcase, I wonder what the hell she’s doing here?” I spent a good deal of my time being disappointed in Comedy Central’s mid-afternoon programming, but again, the kind staff at the show took pity on us and let us into the actual studio early. We were let in to see what they call the “throw” between Stewart and Colbert, which apparently, never happens. Stewart’s crowd gets to see it but not Colbert’s. So they let us in by ticket color and then number. Our waiting in the freezing cold paid off, we were seated to the far left of the front row. Which, as it turns out, are as good of seats we could have hoped to get.

So we are barely seated when Stephen Colbert comes out really quickly to do the “throw.” He comes bounding out, lots and lots of energy, incredibly charismatic, does a little chatting up of the audience then sits down to start. The two do a pre-banter before they do the scripted one, a sort of “Hey, hello” type of thing. Stewart is also funny unscripted opening up with an acknowledgement that, “Apparently you have an audience right now, hello audience” and it means “either you’re really early or we’re running late.” Which was much funnier when he said it then just now when I tried to paraphrase it. The two men did a little bit of back and forth which, surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, was as natural and entertaining as the scripted stuff comes off on television. Then they do a small camera-check type thing and do the actual “throw.” After that wrapped Colbert runs back to either his dressing room or the writers or wherever and the warm up guy comes out.

I don’t remember warm-up guy’s name but he was mildly entertaining. His stuff wasn't particularly original, or even that funny, but when he got dark, which occasionally he did, it was entertaining. He picked on a good number of people in audience which again was inconsistent in its entertainment value. He had a good crack or too at Conservative-Lady who was wearing a campaign shirt for a Republican Senator from ’92 and an ankle long fur coat, how she wandered into the Colbert Report is beyond me. He also made fun of the Colbert-Virgins behind me, a wealthy looking man from Connecticut, and a group of coast-guards. Overall he was competent in his role as a place-holder.

Eventually they bring Colbert out again, who, again, comes out with so much energy it’s hard to believe he’s in his forties. He bounced around the set for a good couple of minutes before settling into to ask the audience if they had anything to ask him that could, “humanize [him] before [he] started saying terrible things.” Which he hardly needed to do, Stephen Colbert the person is immediately recognizable as a different entity from his character, but resulted in what might have been the highlight of my night. Conservative-Lady asked some question that made me think she really didn’t understand the premise of the show, a girl who had early molested the desk asked a question with homo-erotic subtext about Dr. House and Stephen Colbert on a weekend getaway, which got two responses, Stephen the person confessing to having never seen the show, much to the disappointment of the annoying fangirl and Stephen the character saying they would surely take “no guff from authority figures.” But my hero was the lady who asked which of the Strangers with Candy dance numbers was his favorite. What was his favorite? The King of Glory Dance. Which. He. Then. Proceeded. To. Do. Part. Of. If you think it’s funny on YouTube, well then you’re right, but it’s just as funny if not more so in person.

The show started with a flub, apparently the stage manger’s fault, if you saw the episode it explains the sort of bemused laughter Colbert started the show with. But aside from that and Colbert’s desire to reread the quote about energy conservation the show was done in one take. Which, according to my parent’s who have seen the show before and Colbert who apologized for his “incompetence” at the end of the show, is more mistakes than normal.

During commercial segments writers, or assistants, or mangers, or interns, or something go and conference at his desk for a couple of minutes. In general nothing particularly worth of note happens during this time. With the exception of his reaction to Fall Out Boy. Now the whole time when they weren’t filming they were playing what was essentially a mixtape of mine from eighth grade; Green Day, NOFX, MXPX, The Offspring, The Romones, The Clash, you know, old-people friendly rebellion. With the exception of a Fall Out Boy song, I have no idea what the name of it was but it was on of those omnipresent songs of the last year and a half. Now, this song starts up, whiny and more than a little obnoxious and the previously intensely focused Colbert looks up and cocks one of those trademark eyebrows in skepticism. Which then becomes amused disbelief. Then a resigned headshake, and it’s back to work. Leaving no doubt in anyone’s mind that Stephen Colbert does not like Fall Out Boy.

I own an iMac.

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 02:16:32 GMT

It's shiny, and it's new. And it's MINE.

How crazy is that?

100 movies in 2007

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 16:30:41 GMT

Only including new-to-me movies.

The Virgin Suicides
The Last Kiss
The Devil Wears Prada
Little Miss Sunshine
When the Levees Broke
Pan's Labyrinth
Jesus Camp
Why We Fight
Rebel Without A Cause
The Science of Sleep
Match Point
An Inconvient Truth

last updated; feb 18, 2007

jan 15 - sacha baron cohen makes everything better

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 03:33:18 GMT

Oh dear god, the Golden Globes would have been a waste of precious television time had it not been for is amazingly disturbing acceptence speech.

I need Ali G on DVD.

Oh yeah; I'm coming back to ANC in a week and a half. Happy Happy Joy Joy.

jan 8 - this isnt talent

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 01:22:37 GMT

Basically it sucks coming to terms with your own mediocritey. That you're a cheap imitation of everything better than you.

jan 2 - I fell into something like lust today

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 01:26:04 GMT

"like we is."

Wrong line. Right idea. He was embaressed.

And all the sudden I'm a crap teen poet. I'm mentally dotting i's with small delicate hearts, implying a childish infatuation with not so childish intentions.

dec 31 - say so long to a year that sucked

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 02:13:12 GMT

some highlights;

my siblings be expelled from school by my best friend's father while said best friend was on vacation with us

realizing that the outside world is full of mentally incapable oversexed druged out retards

the emotional upheaval that comes from abandoning extended family and religion (and the tramua that follows when you try a temporary fix)

spending an enitre week with my crazy grandmother and then being forced to spend the days preceeding Christmas with her

finding my mother's suicide note on the dining room table/the dream the night of her suicidal episode

going on my meds and off my meds and on my meds and off my meds and on and off and on and off

realizing too late that I've fucked up royally on numerous occasions; the least fun of which was the school switch

the whole accidental no-boyfriend thing & the whole accidental, "Wait is she really a lesbian?" haircut

dec 26 - they were only words and I never meant them

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 00:31:08 GMT

beauty will always trump brains

dec 25 - merry jolly happy christmas; it's raining

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 20:10:18 GMT

The year is almost over and I didn't do a single thing I set out to do.

dec 18 - it's no longer fun to be better than you

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 00:39:08 GMT

because it wasn't difficult to begin with, and it's just getting easier. Eventually this condescension will become pity; the kind that is as pathetic as it is patronizing.

Eventually this condescension will reveal a weakness.

Even though broken, I'm still better than you, but I'm not ready to tear down my walls just to even the playing feild.

dec 17 - I dont care if forever never comes

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 02:33:15 GMT

43 Things I want to, need to, think I should do.

dec 16 - what's always in the way?

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 21:17:53 GMT

Touch.

An arm around my waist, an excited but decidedly breif hug, a movement away from a forced and awkward situation with an ex, a bump that makes my skin prickle, a hand on a chest of stranger pushing them out of the way, a heightened awareness of where your arm (lips, leg, foot, thigh, fingers, elbow, hips) are in relation to someone else's.

Something about it has my mind racing; if I were smarter (braver) I would know that I need some contact (friction.) If I were smarter (braver) I would bridge the gaps between arms (lips, leg, foot, thigh, fingers, elbow, hips) and maybe my mind would stop racing. But I'm not that smart (brave) and there's an ocean of complications between me and a peace of mind.

Instead I watch as my mind plays out scenes where I'm braver (smarter), where I take (touch) what I want.

dec 9 - that's why are matching bracelets say Turk & JD!

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 16:58:47 GMT

I love Scrubs.

dec 7 - you have too many thoughts

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 23:42:40 GMT

I'm slowly organizing my thoughts over this yearning to return to ANC thing. It's gone from a random, inexplicable epiphany without reasoning or justifications to a surprisingly well thought out and justifiable desire. Which given the state of my mind for the past week is genuinely incredible.

Reasoning; The Logical & Explainable Kind
1. I miss my friends; I don't see them enough and it's not for lack of trying. It's not that I'm not trying to make friends, it's just that I'm (surprise! surprise!) annoyingly judgemental with serious trust issues making me difficult to get to know.
2. I miss religion class; Crazy? Sure, but I like theological discussion. I can't exactly have a meaningful discussion on the nature of Charity with the people I go to school with.
3. I'm too smart; The more investigating I do into the academics of LM the more I realize how completly bored I'm going to be for the next two years. Which doesn't appeal to me at all.
4. I left ANC to leave Bryn Athyn, not necessarily ANC; looking back at my emotional state last year, I was an emotional baggage claim. Carrying around all kinds of resentment and anger and guilt over things that didn't necessarily relate to ANC.
5. I have a weird, almost unexplainable loyalty to ANC coming from a series of equally bizare and unexplainable emotional ties.

I needed to do the LM thing cause I needed to clean out my head and detach myself from Bryn Athyn. Get rid of some of that emotional baggage. I didn't realize that when I was emotionally stable (well, as much as humanly possible for me) that I would want nothing more than to go back to ANC but, I'm such a hypocritical basketcase that I don't know why it surprises me so much.

Random note #1; I upgraded to LJ Plus, so I have the ugly ass ads but 15 icons and a custom mood theme so it's a trade-off.
Random note #2; My grandmother's sweater caught on fire. While it was on her. Which was entertaining. She wasn't injured. I'm not that sick.
Random note #3; Having an entire restraunt say hello to you over the phone because you're having a crappy day does nothing to improve your mood, but it's still kind of cool.
Random note #4; Montaigne is still the world's biggest tool; which sucks.

dec 3 - free humanity

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 20:47:20 GMT

Free Hugs Campgain. Sometimes it doesn't take a lot to impress me.

01. Free Hugs: The Beginning
02. Free Hugs: Peru
03. Free Hugs: Venezuela
04. Free Hugs: Brazil
05. Free Hugs: Barcelona
06. Free Hugs: Mexico
07. Free Hugs: Korea
08. Free Hugs: Vancouver
09. Free Hugs: China
10. Free Hugs: Poland
11. Free Hugs: Finland
12. Free Hugs: Hungary
13. Free Hugs: Japan
14. Free Hugs: Taiwan
15. Free Hugs: Singapore
16. Free Hugs: Australia
17. Free Hugs: Netherlands
18. Free Hugs: Israel
19. Free Hugs: Austria

dec 3 - spectacular! spectacular!

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 16:58:44 GMT

Allison made a "gingerbread house" out of saltine crackers.

Jess and I got bored and watched Moulin Rouge!

Her mom told us a story about a little kid who was confused by a family that changed their nativity scene yard pretties into mary, jesus and Santa.

Why is it so hard for me to write about good, normal, happy things?

dec 2 - every logical scale

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 16:08:11 GMT

I can't stop thinking; these aren't the people I want to graduate with. To come back and see 5, 10, 15 years after graduation. I know why I haven't been sleeping; these aren't the people I want to graduate with. To come back and see 5, 10, 15 years after graduation.

I want to go back to ANC next year.

Even though on every logical human scale I shouldn't. Even though I probably won't. Even though I probably can't. Even though this wasn't a mistake. Even though it feels like one. Even though on every logical human scale it isn't.

Even though the scariest part is I'm happy not "happy" or happyish or happy in some weird twisted way. I'm taking classes I want to take, I'm in classes with amazing teachers, my grades are good, I'm in clubs and activites, I go to dances, I get the accomadations I need. Every logical human scale.

But these aren't the people I want to graduate with.

These aren't the memories I want have.

Even though that would mean returning to feeling like an outcast, where I can't take the classes I want or participate in any clubs. Where the teachers aren't amazing and I can't get the accomadations I need. Even though it would mean I made a mistake. Which isn't true. I made a choice.

And it sucks because my choice has so much more riding on it, the choices of my brothers, the hopes of my mom, the disappointment of my dad. It wasn't a mistake. It was a choice.

I miss chapel, I miss religion, I miss friends, I miss highly motivated people, I miss friends, I miss. I miss. I miss. I miss the things I knew I would and told myself weren't big enough reasons to stay. Even though I knew on every logical human scale they were.

every logical human scale.

nov 30 - dissappointments, stds and intellectuals are why I'm still single

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 01:02:42 GMT

i. cute blonde boy in my study hall and I had a breif, and semi-awkward conversation revolving around my iPod.
"Can I see your iPod?" Asks painfully attractive blonde boy
"Um, Im kind of using it..." I gesture to the headphones
"I just want to see what's on it."
"Don't change the song." I
"I promise I won't."

As I hand him my iPod I'm suddenly painfully aware that I have not one, but all three Buffy the Vampire Slayer Soundtracks on it. Which in my defense are collections of some of the best music of the 90's. But still, I'm more than acutely aware that the rest of the world doesn't realize that Joss Whedon is God and took what could have been stupid fluff & camp and made it one of the most entertaining, & intelligent shows ever. So I'm staring directly at my screen praying to God he doesn't see them or if he does, he at least notes the too tight, too low shirt I'm wearing. Cause I'd like to think that in this situation Boobs > Buffy.

He doesn't notice instead he makes a point of making fun of how old it is, (ancient.) and telling me he's never heard of most of the stuff. Which somewhere in my psuedo-hipster brain was an accomplishment, validation. But I'm secertly still hoping he's taken into account the too tight, too low shirt. Cause it's damn lucky that the day I feel like proving to the world I do in fact have boobs, is the day he chooses to talk to me. Divine Intervention anyone?

He handed me back my iPod, and he broke his promise to not change the song. He had changed the song from Faggot by MSI to Summer Love by Justin Timberlake of all the music on my iPod - Justin-Fucking-Timberlake . It's on my iPod so obviously I realize that FutureSex/LoveSounds is the mainstream dance-pop album of the year, but... Justin Timberlake. Of all the music on my iPod. It shattered all my fantasies involving cute blonde boy from study hall. Which sucks because now my object of lust is a symbol of disappointment. Why cute blonde boy? Why? I'm still reeling from the other object of my study hall lust's Panic! At the Disco Shirt.

ii. kinda of random question; is there a certain age you have to be buy condoms?
Blink.
"Uh, what?"
"Like you know, 18 or something?"
blink.
"Uh, no, I don't think so."
blink.
"And could I get birth control without my parent's knowing?"
McSlutty is asking me this, expecting an answer. Me, McVirgin-haven't-had-a-boyfriend-or-fooled-around-or-anything-in-a-year-my-friends-think-I'm-lesbian, me. It worries me slightly having overheard her sexually history that she doesn't know the answers to these questions.
"Try planned parenthood or something, I really don't know."
"Like, my parents really can't know."
Oh honey, they know, they have to be in a serious state of denial to not know. What with going out in public with a guy's jizz in you're hair and all.
"Um, let's get back to our project."
"Ugh. I need to know."

I hope she gets pregnant.

iii. "I think I'm going to dump him for someone more intellectual"
Your going to dump you're boyfriend for the new kid in American Studies?
Not necessarily, just someone more intellectual He stalks me, it's annoying I would dump him anyways
Weren't you upset when he didn't call you every night?
Yeah, but that's different than stalking, I need my space and someone intellectual
Well than dump him.
But he loves me.
Than don't.
But he's not intellectual enough, we can't just talk.

And I'm left to wonder, is she going to make a distiction between intellectual and smarter? Because smarter than her current boyfriend isn't difficult, but intellectual? Not so easy. But I suppose our definitions aren't exactly the same, she's probably hoping for someone who won't fuck her in the bathroom at lunch and is more willing to talk about important things. Like why her multi-colored skull-leggings are so hardxcore and how funny Borat was because you know that was an intellectual comedy. At least that's what she's been told. Or at the very least, fuck her in the bathroom in a more intellectual way.

dissappointments, stds and intellectuals aren't why I'm still single, the fact that I'm a judgemental bitch with a stick up my ass probably is.

nov 28 - live VM mystery one finale take & picspasm

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 03:02:58 GMT

Opening with that scene at the party was brilliant. Having Piz be nowhere near by is comforting. No nausating Piz saves Veronica scene. That's Logan's niche. I would like it to stay that way. Unless of course Mac, or Parker were to save Veronica. Girl Power! Or you know, she could save herself for once too. But I don't like that idea in this arc. She needs to learn to trust people, need people.

Logan's break up was so heartbreakingly honest. If they end up going where I think they go with this episode (Veronica realizing she needs people; Logan) it might end up being one of my all time favorite episodes.

Heh. Dean O'Dell and Weevil. Love it.

Veronica's rejecting pity/help from Mac (!! I'm so glad she's back), and Wallace is making me feel even better about this stotic overly guarded Veronica being part of an arc that reunites LoVe.

OMG! And Keith? She rejected Keith's help too. This is just getting more promising by the second.

Awh, Kristen. She sold that scene in the shower. The only place Veronica can let down her guard is in the shower, alone, and it makes perfect sense and I love it.

Parker, I like Parker. Parker needs to show up more often.

VERONICA KILLED LAMB IN HER PAPER?! Too. Fucking. Awesome. And great segway- this perfect murder project to the next mystery. It's subtle but not absurdly obscure. Kudos RT, kudos.

unLucky got a haircut. It's even more girlie than before. WAIT WTF? Dick's hookup-bimbo-slut of last week is unLucky's girlfriend? didn't see that coming. WAIT?! Is unLucky + girlfriend the rapist(s)? That would be crazy and I wouldn't hate the idea of unLucky as the rapist so much because it's less obvious.

Oh I don't want Moe to be the rapist. I like Moe. Frak. Moe and BSG. and the tea with weird safety pin thing.

Mac regularly gets the best lines, "resistance is futile." almost as good, but not as good as "more than anything in the world" cira, 3.01.

Ok small quibble; Neptune sheriffs department didnt question Veronica's fake id? Or did she not have a fake one.

Ugh. Piz shutup I already hated you and your insensitivity to this whole girls getting raped thing is just more annoying.

Heh. Ask me about my STD. Oh Mac. I want that shirt. I know plenty of people who need it.

Oh ouch. O'Dell asking Keith why someone would sleep with a married woman. pwnage.

Oh man maybe its feminist bull nosering and Moe. No! I liked them.

O'Dell... oh fuck he's going to kill Landry.

Well O'Dell & unLucky aren't wearing the right shoes.

Oh God. I love when they let Veronica and Logan NOT talk. Those two actors are so amazing that words almost get in the way. KB and JD for Best Actress/Actor emmy's anyone?

Logan and Wallace going to the wrong house. Boo. But still, Piz doesn't save Veronica.

- comercial break - remember those secert commercials with the two girls like "Im in love with your boyfriend" "Im helping my boyfriend pick a ring?" with the lesbian undertones... like they were in love with each other. that was a seriously cute add.

OH FUCK, Mercer's the rapist? IS VERONICA THE MURDERER CAUSE THAT WOULD BE CRAZY COOL!? EVEN IF SHE'S JUST ACCUSED?! OMG BRILLIANT.

WAIT MOE AND MERCER ARE THE RAPISTS?! And Moe drugged Veronica?! BATSHITCRAZYAWESOMESCARY. Only his tea... it was so cute.

Did she jump out the window? Where the fuck is she? A closet maybe...? Wouldn't Moe look there? ECSPCIALLY IF THATS WHERE THEY KEEP THE HAIR!?! Ew. Ew. Ew. I get it I've seen L&O SVU but ew. the whole concept of "trophies" from crimes is creepy.

Of course daddy doesn't pick up. Call Logan. Boy isn't Logan going to feel guilty when he realizes the rapist was Mercer. After defending him and all that. Awe poor Logan, his trust is so misplaced. With Lily, and Lynn, and Aaron, and Paris Hilton, and Duncan, and sadly the closest thing he has to a functional relationship is his frienship with Dick and his on-again-off-again relationship with Veronica.

Which is the most functional relationship Veronica has. Keith included.

DAMMIT 10 more mins?! Not long enough.

How sick is that I love the shaky cam, its reminiscant of the flashbacks - funky cinemetography and stuff.

PARKER IS GONNA SAVE VERONICA! Hell yes. That makes me happy.

Did Dean O'Dell kill Landry? Because that makes me sad. Mostly because that's kind of a lame mystery.

LOGAN BEATING A COP CAR! Why? I don't know but it's still awesome. OH NOW I KNOW WHY. BLESS DEAR GOD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF MERCER.

OH FUCK DEAN O'DELL is the one that died?

... boo no veronica mars coming soons? eventuallys? after the breaks?

Why can't Piz be infatuated with someone it would make sense with? Geeky, spastic and computery? I still wouldn't like Piz but it would make sense.

The opening was awesome.

Curls in moderation = pretty.

Heh.

Awh, Veronica you are so clueless. Emotionally crippled and clueless.

Veronica Mars, she never needs anything. Part I.

Beneath that angry young woman shell, there's a slightly less angry young woman... You're a marshmellow Veronica Mars.

Veronica Mars, she never needs anything. Part II.

I WASNT THE ONLY ONE ANNOYED BY PIZ!

I just really liked this scene. Weevil and O'Dell's banter was fun.

Veronica Mars she never needs anything. Part III.

And all the masks come off, the idea that Veronica Mars, she never needs anything is untrue.

Parker is the anti-Veronica and therefor I want nothing more for her and Veronica to become better friends.

"the local sheriff..." She killed Lamb. heh.

I'm beyond glad it wasn't unLucky, although I think Landry used unLucky to murder Dean O'Dell. With Veronica's "Perfect Murder" paper, and unLucky agreed because he hates Veronica and despite his disillusionment with Landry he wants to get back in his good graces. Which would be fun.

Resistance is futile.

Santa-Mars! Doesn't Wallace already have a fake ID curtesy of Ms. Mars?

Eye-Sex.

Mecer has officially become pyscopath #3

I like action scenes.

Oh, Moe, why? I liked you and your weird tea and BSG quoting even if it spawned the unfortunate misuse of the word within the VM fandom.

This would be "Oh Fuck, Moe is working with Mercer and I have been drugged again and Hero-Logan is no where around and my taser is under the bed in scary pink unicorn room."

I actually thought she was going to jump out the window.

She was annoying in the first episode but she easily my favorite of the new characters now; having a girl, not just any girl, having Parker rescue Veronica was beyond perfect.

I really hope Parker and Veronica become friends.

Why is Piz there and where is Parker?

This. Was. So. Good. I loved how it was shot, I loved why he did it, I love that he did it. It was awesome.

Too bad we didn't get to see Logan beat the shit out of Mercer.

Mystery #2 begins. RIP Dean, you will be missed.

nov 27 - drabbles.

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 02:08:19 GMT

i. a shot. again again again. all pity and resentment.
There was a scream. There was a shot. And then another. And another. And another. Two more. It’s silent again; and there was no scream before the final shot. Faint sounds of crying are overshadowed by the sound of the end of third period.

A door is opened and a boy asks God why? When He doesn’t answer, he is sure He’s abandoned them. That He died. That he never existed in the first place. He mentally pities the girl who thanks God it’s over. That she’s safe. The pity is actually resentment, but he’ll never be able to admit that.

He resents the people who will turn their televisions on tonight and they will see this on the news. They’ll be horrified for a moment, and out of ignorance they’ll admit to their neighbor that “even though it’s a horrible, selfish thing to say” they’re glad it happened somewhere else. That they’re glad they live in such a safe place. And he can admit right now that this resentment is actually pity.

ii. questions without answers. oh and I love you.
The television was unplugged, as were the phones and computers. It was all too much without the world asking her questions she couldn’t answer. She was at a loss with the rest of them. She made her son breakfast, scrambled eggs and toast, and she talked to him while he ate all but the crusts of his toast.

Was he prepared for that math test? How did he do on that English paper? Would he be sure to bring that piece of paper, the one by his backpack to the nurse? No, it’s only a slip that allows them to give you Tylenol if you get those headaches. It’s so the nurse doesn’t have to call me every time you want to skip class. I know, I know I’m teasing. The bus will be here any minute, give me a kiss, I’ll see you after school.

Oh, and honey, I love you.

iii. guilt & families of victims
As much as she hated to admit it, she hated how they were using the term “families of the victims.” What was she going to do for the families of the victims? She was a victim. She was the family of a victim. Contrary to popular belief her son was a victim too. What were people going to do for her? What did they do for him? As horrible and bitter as the thoughts were they kept coming. And with them came guilt.

iv. shes drowning and it isnt entirely imaginary.
It had been two days since “the incident,” which was what she called it in her head. It was just cryptic enough, allowing her to continue to walk the fine line between reality and denial.

The rest of the world had taken to using the name of the school as the name of the event. Something she thought would be counter productive in the long run, as the school intended to stay open and having its name be nationally associated with violence would not be beneficial. But these kinds of thoughts were only her pathetic attempts at attempting to come up for air.

The rest of the time she pretended to ignore her imaginations reenactments of the scene. Faces. Reasons. Clothing. Sounds. Smells. She would take various roles, Karen Smith, the sophomore who called 911, Garett Anderson, the junior who she knew as a child, everyone but her son. Her imagination would never allow her to see his face, just hear his voice, broken and cracking. Almost like he was going to cry. Get on the floor. Get on the fucking floor. And a shot. Her heart would stop with her breath.

But on like Karen or Garett she gets to come up for air.

nov 27 - kinda sorta almost

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 18:24:45 GMT

I'm pretending for a day that I'm one of those girls. Pink and tight and cropped and a little too short and it's kind of fun. Kinda sorta almost. I kinda sort of almost don't mind that I don't look like I have the body of a 12 year old boy. Lips are all glossy and pink and eyes are all lined and perfect. And it's kind of a hassle. Kinda sorta almost. I look like a girl. Not the type of girl who spends an hour in the shower at noon singing along to a Rancid album with the water so hot that I'm pretty sure my skin will stay pink all day. No not that type of girl. I look like the kind who uses soaps with silly names and expensive shampoos. Who doesn't intentionally take uncomfortably hot showers. Kinda sorta almost.

But my hair is cropped short and I wear hipster glasses and don't take showers with silly soaps and expensive shampoos and I do intentionally take too hot showers and pink and cropped and tight is a little uncomfortable. And I'm kinda sorta almost disappointed. Cause it could be fun. This cropped pink too tight lifestyle. Kinda sorta almost. If I was that kind of girl. But I'm not, I'm kinda of sorta almost entirely different.

Kinda sorta almost.

nov 26 - no one has ever accused me of making sense

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 00:02:01 GMT

i. last 10 songs played on iTunes
Hard to Find - American Analog Set
A Way With Me - The AM Project
Chariot - Page France
Stars - Lamar
Only Talking Sense - The Finn Brothers
Everyone's Starting Over - The Diggs
Paint's Peeling - Rilo Kiley
Kissing the Lipless - The Shins
Warning Sign - Coldplay
Breathe Me (Four Tet Remix) - Sia

It could be the soundtrack to a Zach Braff movie.

ii. while I'm thinking of Zach Braff...
Scrubs starts up again on thursday. Episode six is a musical episode. Ironically, Buffy's mindblowingly brilliant musical episode was also episode six of the six season. I have high expectations. But Bill Lawerence hired the Avenue Q team to do the musical episode of Scrubs; brilliance. I hope there are puppets. I hope JD has a dream squence with the puppets).

iii. but I plan on being disappointed regardless
then when it doesn't meet my high expectations, I won't be disappointed because I planned on being disappointed therefor anything better than abysmal will be acceptable.

iv. twisted logic = debate
I hope I don't suck.

cause my partner sucks. a lot. and it pisses me off.

v. social karma.
Years of being a judgemental, isolated bitch have led me into a year filled with annoying, abrasive people who, no matter how judgemental and isolated I attempt to be, force me into begrudging complacency.

vi. complacency.
what a fun word.

nov 26 - read on as literary pretensions abound

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 22:58:37 GMT

my ~~heart~~ place where my heart is supposed to be is a cubist poem.
and then you realize you want
something, (anything?) you can't have.
don't know how to get. and
it
only makes you want
it
more. it's almost like coming out and asking for,
it
ruins the fun.
maybe I'm just a wants what I cant have only in
it
for the chase
type of person. / girl.